Christmas is still going on in my heart

Wow! It is quiet here. Its New Years Eve and I just put all three little ones down for a late nap. This is a first in a long time. I am so tired, you would think I would be sleeping myself. Lizzy has been up every two hours for the last 4 nights. She just smiles at you when she has woken you from a deep sleep, I can't seem to get mad at her. I do, however, wish she would sleep a little longer.

We have been so blessed this Christmas with family and friends. My husband and I both agree that we are addicted to our kids. They make us laugh and love us back so much.

This year we have been blessed with our little Lizzy. She was born on January 13 and is an added joy to our family. We also have had many sorrows, some personal, and then the loss of our beloved Timothy. What a beautiful baby he is to me. I think of him daily and I think, he has Christmas every day. I pray daily for Christ's return so we can all be together as a family. Until then I pray also for salvation for my kids and I strive to train my children in the way of our Lord. If I can teach them to keep Christ at the center of their lives then they too can have Christmas every day.

This coming year Rob and I hope that we can find a home to meet our growing family's needs. One that is close enough to his work and within our budget. I also am still planning on resigning from CEF this year. My goal is April, we will see what God's goal is first though. :) I am really having a hard time raising my children the way I would like and giving CEF the attention it needs.

We are still potty training Colton. He is not easy. He goes on the toilet when I tell him to, but he doesn't go when he fills the need. I would like to have Alainna potty trained this year as well. If anyone wants to come over and do this for me, that would be great. This is not my favorite part of being a mother.

Logan is attending Youth For Christ and LOVES it. He is making friends and wants to change schools now so he can be with his new friends. We'll see.

Lizzy has started walking while pushing her scooter. She laughs and scoots around. When does she not laugh? I have never seen a baby as happy as she is. She is really a comfort and a wonderful blessing to me at this time.

I will leave you with a picture of Colton putting his lite saber away. He is very clever for a 3 year old.

Just updates

Christmas is only 4 days away and I still am not completely done shopping. As I am typing this, little Lizzy is unfolding all the clothes I just folded. No, I don't put them away as soon as I am done. That would mean walking up the stairs and I just don't have the energy right now.
I'm missing feeling my baby in my stomach right now. We have a wonderful picture of Timothy but its not the same as all the fun and excitement of being pregnant with him and looking forward to having him at home with me.
Lizzy is trying to walk. She has tempted it and has nose dived. She follows Alainna around like a shadow and cries or screams when big sister won't pay any attention to her. Alainna does play with her a lot though and they have fun laughing and pretending.
Colton has been sick again this winter. He seems to not do well during this time of year. We now wonder if he is allergic to the Christmas tree. Weird huh? He loves to learn and can now read 5 or 6 words. He reads his alphabet and can read numbers up to 60. He can also count backwards from 12. He is a crack up as well. He says thank you and no thank you in every sentence. Where he gets that I don't know.
Logan is staying at Grandma and Grandpa's. He loves it there because he can play on the computer. He's there for 3 nights. I'm so thankful that he has Grandparents to spend time with.
Rob is working hard for us. He is so tired of the hours but he's sticking with it. We hope and pray that we can move closer to his work soon. This will cut off between 30 to 60 minutes one way for his commute depending on the time of day and traffic.
I'm just thankful for all my children. I miss not having the two, who are in heaven, here with me. But they are safe and loved more than I can give. I cannot wait to see them.
Still working with CEF. I love the work and I wish I can go back to doing as much as I used to. But the Lord wants me at home to raise my children for now. Thank you for your prayers and cards during our loss. We are so thankful.

Here are some Christmas pictures

The Solid Rock

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

By Edward Mote

laughing

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

As I sit here and think of what to write, I cannot help but think of all the mom's and dad's who have mourned a child. My heart breaks for each one as it is breaking over the loss of my own baby. The kind words that everyone has said is so much appreciated by Rob and I, but to be honest, only God can comfort me right now. I miss not feeling my baby move and I miss not being able to hold him and love him as only a mother can. My little Timothy went home to be with our Lord on December 1, 2009. He was only 19 weeks in my womb but he will be in our hearts forever. He was very healthy and growing to be very strong. He moved around so much that he ended up puting a knot in his ambilical cord. God's Word says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is for both me and my baby. God had a plan for me to carry my son for a short time. I don't know why but I don't need to question His plans, for according to His Word they are good. God's plan for my son goes so well with the verse I just quoted from Jeremiah, my son is in heaven with Christ with no harm, with pure hope and an eternal future with Him.

We are so blessed with all the family and friends who have helped us through this hard time. My words of thanks cannot compare to your prayers and gifts of love. Many of you have given us food on days when I can't even think of what to feed my family. And so many have shared cards and prayers that I just hold dear to my heart. We have also been blessed with those who have given us gifts of money to help pay for the marker for little Timothy. We now have enough to purchase it and will be doing this tomorrow. This is months earlier than we could have hoped for.

On Friday the 11th we laid our little Timothy Alan to rest at Mount View Cemetary in Lakewood. This wonderful cemetary allowed us to rest our child there for free. They paid for the chapel, casket, plot, program and a book showing us who came to mourn with us. We could not have done this without their kindness. My dear friend Liz found them on the internet when we didn't even know what to do with our little boy. God is so good to give us a friend in Liz and a beautiful place for our boy's body to sleep until Christ comes. We know his soul is already in the arms of Jesus. He is with his sibling who we lost between Colton and Alainna. We didn't know what sex that baby was but they were loved just as much as all my other children. We never named that baby because we didn't know if it was a boy or girl. Rob and I both came up with the same name to name it though just the other day. We both thought of Grace, God's Word says, "my Grace is sufficent for you". We know that He will sustain us until His return.

What an awesome God we serve. If you are reading this and you do not know the true and wonderful Grace of God then email me and I would love to talk to you about how you can know Him. I would not be able to go on day to day without Him.

I am also so blessed to have my husband and my children. My four beautiful children have been so wonderful these last couple of weeks. They have wanted more hugs and kisses than usual and have kept me busy so I am not able to dwell on my loss and wollow in my sorrow. Oh to know Christ and to be able to live and move on, remembering my baby and knowing that I WILL see him again one day. This makes me sing praises and celebrate my Lord. What a mighty God we serve.